She'll never be in remission

BERNIE, Mo. -- Monica Edmonds is now living with cancer.

She will never be in remission.

Doctors have told the Bernie, Mo., mother, the average lifespan of someone with stage 4 cancer that has metastasized to the bone is three years.

But Edmonds continues to live with a smile, focused on family and sharing an important message with other women -- "Be your own advocate."

Edmonds, a nurse, lost four aunts to breast cancer. She knew the importance of mammograms and self exams.

Every year since turning 28, she went for the annual scan.

The year she turned 35 was no different. And like every year before, Edmonds received a letter in the mail in February 2011 saying she was OK.

Only she wasn't.

Six months later, Edmonds noticed her breast sunk in around the nipple when she raised her arm.

A biopsy followed and doctors learned she had not one, but two types of cancer. One fed by estrogen, the other fed by progesterone.

She was diagnosed with stage 2 invasive ductal carcinoma and noninvasive ductal carcinoma. One cancer was still located in the ducts of the nipple, while the other had spread to the rest of her breast.

The mass on her left breast was so large -- the size of a soda can lid -- Edmonds opted for a double mastectomy, rather than trying to remove it with a lumpectomy.

It was her surgeons who later explained the mammogram the year she turned 35 wasn't really clear. It wasn't clear the year she turned 34, or the year she turned 33.

For three years in a row, a technician noted in a report a "suspicious mass" on her left breast.

Each year, it grew.

But Edmonds didn't see that report, only the letter she received in the mail. Patients, she said, have to request the report.

"Even being a nurse, I didn't take that extra step," she said. "It had been there three years. No one told me.

"I put a lot of faith into that they knew what they were doing. Perhaps if it would have been found earlier ... Be your own advocate. Get your report. Don't count on that letter."

Awareness and self exams are important too, Edmonds said.

"If I had counted on just that mammogram and gone back a year later, my surgeon told me that would have been my demise," she explained. "I think ... we get so complacent and count on the doctors.

"I did catch mine early enough that I gave myself two and a half years cancer free."

After a round of chemotherapy, things looked good for Edmonds. She didn't need radiation, doctors said, because no trace of the illness was found in her lymph nodes.

For two and a half years, she counted herself among that elite group of breast cancer survivors.

Then, eight months ago, Edmonds started experiencing back pain. Her doctor said she might have pulled a muscle and encouraged Edmonds to get more exercise, to lose weight.

The pain never went away.

Edmonds switched to another cancer center and almost immediately doctors there decided to send her for diagnostic tests.

They discovered in June that her cancer had metastasized to her spine. It was Stage 4.

"I'm now living with cancer. I'll never be in remission, the doctor said. But I'm living with a smile," she explained. "I'm not going to let this get me down. I'm going to do the best I can to live happily."

The cancer is estrogen fed, so her first step in treatment was a complete hysterectomy.

Fat cells also produce estrogen, so Edmonds is on medication to stop her body's production of the hormone. This results is brittle bones, so she also needs monthly shots to harden her bones.

Pain is a constant problem.

Edmonds is reluctant to give up her work as a nurse at John J. VA Medical Center. As a result, she isn't able to take the strong pain medications prescribed to her.

Her other family members quit working after their diagnosis, and none lived more than three years, Edmonds said.

"I'm going to work as long as I can. Once you sit at home and all you can think of is the cancer, it's almost like it defeats you," she said.

Radiation is an option, but only to help control the pain, not for a cure, Edmonds said. She's taken one course. She says that when the pain gets unbearable, she'll go for another course.

Right now, she believes she just needs to enjoy every minute she has. For that reason, Edmonds gave up a second job at a nursing home to spend more time with her family.

She is married to Ian Edmonds, and they have three children. James Carter, 19, who just finished basic training for the Army National Guard, will attend Southeast Missouri State University in the spring. Madalyn Edmonds is 14 and lives in Kansas City with her mother. Chloe Carter, 10, attends school at Bernie.

"Just the simple things have been a lot more important," Edmonds said. "I get up in the night and watch them sleep. Someday I won't be able to do that, to watch them be peaceful.

"I'm just trying to spend as much time together as possible."

Individuals with her type of cancer have a five percent chance of living past five years, Edmonds said. But, there are cases of those who have lived more than 18 years. Cancer effects everyone differently, she said.

"I know my death is coming, so I'm going to make sure I enjoy (this time) ... whether it's watching Chloe play volleyball or helping James sign up for college," she said.

She will also seek a second opinion through Cancer Treatment Centers of America.

Edmonds' good friend, Amanda Thurman, Chloe and other friends and family have arranged a benefit costume run for the Edmonds on Saturday.

"Scare Away Cancer: Costumer Run for Monica" -- named by Chloe -- will begin registration at 9:30 a.m. at McLane Park on Highway W in Poplar Bluff.

A 4K begins at 10:30 a.m. and a one-mile fun run will follow. For more information about the costume run, contact Thurman at 573-776-8928 or Brandi Meese at 573-614-1149.

This event was designed to be fun and raise awareness, as well as help the family, said Thurman. Organizers will hand out educational material, including information from the American Cancer Society on self exams.

Thurman and Edmonds may seem like unlikely friends. Thurman has been in a relationship with Edmonds' ex-husband for two years.

But Thurman has a great deal of respect for her friend.

"Monica, she's one of the strongest women that I know," said Thurman. "With all she's been through, she's always upbeat, always trying to help others."

Edmonds also believes mammograms for women under the age 40 are of great importance. She is part of a group that includes 15 local women diagnosed with breast cancer before the age of 40.